Truly not

amadeuswashere: I have to tell you something
TrulyNotListening: yes
TrulyNotListening: what?
amadeuswashere: it may or may not mean anything to you, or be understood by you
amadeuswashere: or hit you the way it hits me
amadeuswashere: well I have to be very careful who I expose myself to
amadeuswashere: no jokes please
amadeuswashere: Im in a state where I am vunerable and its too easy to feel damaged
amadeuswashere: by thoughtless acts, words and deeds
amadeuswashere: even those that men SUPPOSEDLY think would not be hurtful
TrulyNotListening: hang in there
amadeuswashere: these days every negative thing that a man does against me only further serves to warn me that I was correct
amadeuswashere: and that I must be very careful
amadeuswashere: but moreso than anything else I have to be careful who I spend time around
TrulyNotListening: true
amadeuswashere: I dont want to spend time with a man who just wants sex and will DUMP ME if he doesn't think "We fit right"
TrulyNotListening: I am trying to rebuild sections of my life right now
amadeuswashere: or something like that..whatever his explanation is
amadeuswashere: yeah well who isnt
TrulyNotListening: I am creating a lot of spin and getting nothing accomplished
amadeuswashere: I just feel that i was reckless in my choices of who to spend time with, who to talk and share with, who to use the time I have left in my life
amadeuswashere: well thats what I feel like im spinning on a bike that has no chain
TrulyNotListening: so true
amadeuswashere: if I spend good time ..chunks of my available time on people who just move on too fast when I thought we were building something
amadeuswashere: how many times must i have to go through this?
amadeuswashere: I don't want to keep experiencing it over and OVER again
TrulyNotListening: I know...hey I am getting outta here for the night
amadeuswashere: and have no reassurances from the other person.. is worse
amadeuswashere: running away?
TrulyNotListening: No...need to sleep...just like u need to
amadeuswashere: I had something extremely important to tell you
TrulyNotListening: ok...
amadeuswashere: this is my point
amadeuswashere: its what Im talking about
amadeuswashere: I have to be very careful who I "share" my feelings with
amadeuswashere: maybe you should re-read this when you arent as tired
amadeuswashere: but even if I am tired, I know how i am, and what I truly want
amadeuswashere: I dont want to be fucked with
amadeuswashere: thats number one
amadeuswashere: and I feel i was fucked with
amadeuswashere: Its harder to trust
amadeuswashere: I was getting to know you
amadeuswashere: and I was going to meet you
TrulyNotListening: Keep the faith
amadeuswashere: but you just went away
amadeuswashere: its not me that went away, it was YOU
TrulyNotListening: That's why I am trying to get a handle on my life right now
amadeuswashere: I have the faith
amadeuswashere: Why are you trying to do that.. what FOR?
TrulyNotListening: I need some realignment...no focus
amadeuswashere: why havent you found that?
amadeuswashere: whats stopping u?
TrulyNotListening: too busy doing everything and accomplishing nothing