Howards leaving tonight

at the Boulevard..Howards last night is tonight..lucky we came. I was sad..but I tried to brush it off. He says that he makes "fives times as much money" at "the derby" than he does at "the bouldevard"... never mind he is surrounded by friends at the blvd. His acting gigs are slowing down, but his bartending is picking up. I felt sad because of that phenomena of everyone "leaving" and Im so sick of that happening. It threatened to ruin my joi de vevir or however you spell it. My friend said "we will visit you there" but I wonder if we will. The worst about it is, it won't BE THE SAME.. some place where "everyone is goodlooking" and they hire them because those bartenders can make more money. a regular coyote ugly.
 
Who fucking cares. All I know is.. because of MONEY again.... A SERIES of events.. a way of being.. a comfortable chair.. a couch worth sitting on... is OVER..
 
Its over.. and we only have tomorrow to look forward to. For him. more successful times..better days.. at least monetarily are available..he will never meet my baby sister now..he will never hear me sing for the first time..but at least he will make several hundred a nite. a legend.. a time.. an era.. IS OVER......
 
WHATEVER ...
 
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhh. (so much that i am thinking.. so much I keep to MYSELF)
 
clunk.